Tag Archives: christophe berra

You typed what?…and you found THAT??

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It’s that time of year again. Where your mornings are filled with hangovers, the sound of your dad juggling pans at 6 in the morning, and the worst meat sweats you’ll ever encounter.

So, as a blog that doesn’t really have any decent links to provide competition prizes, what they hell am I supposed to give you as a present?

Well, the last few weeks, I’ve been noticing some wonderfully funny, and sometimes plain weird, Google searches that people have typed in, which has lead them to here. Sometimes I wonder how, but I guess I’ve only got myself to blame for calling the blog One In The Hole. Sure lots of horny teenagers are bloody gutted to stumble across this pile of shite instead of seeing that Imogen Thomas sex tape.

So, my present to you this Christmas is the list below of some of the best searches I’ve had.

Christophe berra

Nothing to weird about that…just yet…

Dave edwards wolves shorts

So, somebody is trying to check out Davey wearing shorts hey? You sly boots you.

Heartbreaker gay

I’m not sure if this should be seen as personal. I never thought I was a heartbreaker, or gay.

Maybe I have a gay following, and upon hearing that I’m straight, have broken down and cried. Sorry if you did, I didn’t mean to.

I mean, I do like Showgirls and Mean Girls, so maybe this is something we can work on.

Christophe berra sexy

Ok, so more Berra stuff. Personally I’ve never seen this. I always thought Jarvis was the looker of the team. Johnson was at Birmingham, but his hair is thinning pretty badly and he just hasn’t kept that look.

(Totally appealing to my gay following here)

Matt warrolow

Warrolow, Wainlove, Warlock. I have been called all of these. It’s what happens when you have a bloody stupid surname.

I was my surname was something like Excalibur.

Or Destroyer.

Or Elokobi.

When will tom cleverley play again

Man United fan obviously checking to see when they’ll have some central midfielders again.

Good luck on that one.

Man knocked out and strip naked outside movie scene

…speechless

фото-elokobi

I mean, how the hell do you actually type that first bit on your keyboard?

What is it? A code?

Is George Elokobi actually a part of the Di Vinci Code?

matthew warrilow sausage wolves
warrilow rubbish wolves
matthew warrilow is a prick

My bastard mate Lee trying to be funny. Bastard.

Berra shirtless v sunderland

That Berra fan again.

Look, not to be picky mr/mrs, but it is a bit weird to be so precise about what game youwanted him to be shirtless in though.

I mean, if you want him shirtless, just Google that. Why Sunderland? Were you hoping that you’d catch a glimpse of Lee Cattermole rubbing his own nipples in the background?

“joey barton” “the smiths” bbc

Prick

George elokobi muscles

Who doesn’t want to stare at that? Then weep at how measly a human being you are in comparison.

Jamie ‘o’hara fuck yeah

Not sure if this is a Team America thing, or a sex thing. Either way, why?

Christophe berra house

Ok this is getting a bit much now, should I like tell the police? Or as they are now know, Sting (boom boom tsk)

Anyway, want to say thanks to everybody who wrote nice things about my blog.

Anybody who RT’d any of my tweets.

All the Wolves fans I’ve met online (not in a A/S/L way)

Ian for doing the ace new banner.

Merry Christmas, you wankers.

Wolves vs Sunderland review (Thank you Lady Luck, you sexy woman)

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It wasn’t Eva Green or Liv Tyler, but sometimes, all you want and need is Kat Slater.

I’m sure a number of us had the same, worrying feeling in the back of our heads. Even with O’Neil not being in charge of the match, it would give Sunderland that boost that they needed. That they would nick something at the end of the day. That they would see us, down on the floor, give us a helping hand then stab us in the heart with the knife they are holding in their other hand.

Apart from the other obvious reasons, this is why this win meant alot. Aside from the excellent performances from Berra, Edwards, Jarvis and Fletcher, the win meant alot because, for once, lady luck was smiling on us.

It didn’t look that way at first. The penalty decision gave us all horrible flashbacks of that Newcastle game. Our own Vietnam flashback. Then I saw the replay, and it hurt. It really hurt. I saw us staring straight at defeat once again. I thought it was going to be another week of heartbreak. Even a reassuring shoulder pat from my friend couldn’t help.

Then that wonderful minute happened.

It was like the world’s best surprise party where all your favourite people came along with the presents you wanted, and gave you that reassuring hug you’ve wanted for weeks. ’It’ll all be fine Matt, I told you it would be’.

And then, lady luck decided to come round to our house, wearing a secretary’s outfit and gave us a right smooch, right on the lips.

And it all came via Jamie O Hara’s shoulder.

I saw it straight away, I’m pretty sure more of us did. Steven Fletcher certainly did, looking about, almost waiting for the inevitable whistle…that never came.

When I realised the shriek wasn’t coming, I laughed, really loudly. And then started celebrating.

Granted, it meant that we all had to endure 10 minutes of tapping our feet, trying not to bite our nails just so people don’t mention is as ‘nail-biting’ and instead just repeatedly shouting ‘shit…shit…shit…fuck off sunderland…fuck off…thank god;

But at the end of the day, its wins like these that could be a turning point. Wins that puts smiles on our faces, the players’ faces, and Mick’s face.

And at the end of the day, that is the only thing we’ve all been looking for.

Wolves vs Wigan preview (or the game that could be soundtracked by the Benny Hill theme tune)

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For once, I’m not, I repeat, NOT, going to be talking a night out I had. Simple reason is this weekend, I stayed in. Not having money is really, really dull.

I could make up a story about doing coke whilst banging some midget hookers in the middle of a Wetherspoons, but my mum could read this, and I don’t think she wants to hear tales about that, whether they are true or not…

If you would like to hear the rest of the story, please send me £5 and you will get your own personalised story.

Take that Moon Pig!

That’s enough shameless self-promotion for one day.

So this is the game ‘where our season begins’

‘A must-win game’

‘A six-pointer’

It’s really being built up isn’t it? A pivotal game where all 22 players are going to come out, and really show their heart. The game where we see real quality at Molineux again. I mean, it’s on Super Sunday, the last thing it’ll be is a festival of crap.

But let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen.

We all know, deep down, that this game is going to revolve around who makes the fewest defensive errors.

I mean, come on, look at how we’ve been, and then…well…it’s Wigan.

They are truly, truly awful at the back. Horribly disorganised and lacking in quality. You have to wonder if the person who showed that what a straight line was was Michael J. Fox (I would like to point out here that I do feel awful for that cheap shot. I love Michael J. Fox, and Back to the Future is my favourite film…I blame the midget hooker)

And then you look at us recently, and…well…I rather we didn’t.

All this means that we can expect to see that hilarious moment where Gary Caldwell slips on that banana skin, whilst Al Habisi and Emerson Boyce try and move that piano up those stairs for that little old lady that lives on the top floor.

But it’s fine Wigan fans, Berra is going to be taken off injured after Stearman repeatedly hits him around the head whilst turning around holding that bloody ladder of his.

For a neutral, this could be wonderful. For Alan Hansen, it could cause him to have an aneurysm. For us, we’ll either be laughing, or crying. Either way, we’ll all be singing that Benny Hill theme tune when we watch Match of the Day 2 tonight.

So, that midget hooker…